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Late Nights are for List-making

A List of Things You May or May Not Know About Me
1.  I’m over yellow, gray, and white as a color scheme. It reminds me of daisies in a thunderstorm. Just stop.
2. When I was a kiddo, I used to think a lot about what I would leave behind if I were to die at any moment. I didn’t like the thought of people going through my things (mostly seeing just how messy it was underneath my bed) and knowing all of my secrets (not that there was anything crazy to be secretive about). I would think about people knowing all sorts of things about me that I would otherwise not wish them to know, not that this is a rational fear because I would be dead and it wouldn’t matter nor would it matter if it would matter. But, this is, indeed, what I would think about and is why today I don’t have a single one of my journals I wrote as a kid.
3. My favorite compliment to receive is when someone tells me he or she likes my handwriting. I secretly really love it too and worked very, very hard when I was in the second grade to perfect my cursive and I’m glad it stuck!
4. I hate whenever I read something, see something, or listen to something and have this uncontrollable urge to share it, like it’s not enough for me just to enjoy it, I have to pass it along or it’s rendered completely meaningless. I’m only being a little melodramatic. This happens all the time with Thought Catalog articles or the clouds when I’m driving on the highway. I recognize that this isn’t actually reasonable, and I can’t always find someone who will appreciate said moment as much as I do, but often I try to think of someone who might kind of possibly, sort of, even slightly appreciate whatever it is.   But often I can’t think of someone or I feel like I’ll be bothersome sending another Take Away show to you, so I keep it to myself. Now that I’m sitting here thinking about this, I think those moments are times where I feel very lonely. I know that may sound ridiculous, but it’s true. It’s not when I had a bad day or when I watch A Walk to Remember alone on a stormy summer afternoon, but when I find something that reminds me that life is quite grand, like the colors I see when I step out my door for my bike ride to work early in the morning or when I successfully bake bread and have no one to tell me if the dough needed a little more salt or this one particular video of a Givers show in a tiny loft in New York City and the band bangs on pots and pans and the audience grooves along like it’s not big deal, no cameras, no iphones, just musiclove. I didn’t share that moment with anyone and half of my perfect loaf ended up in the trash two days later. They may seem like meaningless moments, but they’re my favorite parts of my day. I want a human being to be part of my favorite parts.
5. I don’t understand how I can sit here and write about all of the things I write about without any concern with your opinion of me, without any concern that you know many personal things about me. I don’t understand how I can write any of it but I can’t stand in front of you and tell you I love you. Writers aren’t brave, we’re cowards. We’re not honest. it’s our screens and pages that spill our secrets for us.
6.  I’m admittedly annoying about many things, but I’m particularly so about music. You should be warned. If you wish to share music with me or tell me about your favorite band or the last cd you bought, you’re more than welcome to do so. I might ignore you (if it’s country music, there’s really no point in trying). But most people who know me well know what kind of music I listen to and usually give me great music. But, you should know you run the risk of me liking your music a little too much. I’ll end up bugging you about said band for years, asking if you’ve heard their latest album, or saw that so-and-so will be in Dallas next month, and then you’ll have to deal with my annoying concert-blogging and wanting to talk about a band you stopped listening to three years ago when you gave me that first album or briefly mentioned them in passing conversation. You can just tell me you’re not really into their music anymore. I promise I’ll only be a little heartbroken.
7. Yesterday I saw the Katy Perry movie and surprisingly loved it. I also teared up a bit when it came to the part in the movie when she and Russel Brand divorce. I also went and bought her first album directly after leaving the movie theater. I also learned a ukulele cover of one of her songs. I realize I don’t have Katy Perry’s cute-factor, nor do I even come close to having her stellar chops. No shame.

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4 thoughts on “Late Nights are for List-making

  1. Pingback: Thought Catalog at Its Best (IMHO) « travel light. live light. spread the light.

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