Reflection, Rhyme

Our secret

It’s everything. It’s the storms and the scary driving and the fear, but mostly the fear of loss. It’s the way everything changes and the way I manage to feel lonely and it feels like a choice. It’s the way nothing changes and it’s the way things are left unsaid and the way people leave and never return. It’s the way parents get old and turn into grandparents who die. It’s how sometimes it’s hard to be alive because it feels like anything but being alive, but I certainly wouldn’t trade it for the alternative. It’s the way everything seems so trivial in the grand scheme of things. But mostly, it’s the way a lovely-written book and a thunderstorm can inexplicably make me feel very, very sad. It’s everything.

“It’s a rule that we never listen to sad music, we made that rule early on, songs are as sad as the listener, we hardly ever listen to music.”

I wish you and I were poets,
So that when I say you are a
Magical human being,
You’d know what I mean.
And I’d know what I mean.

Maybe it’s the way a single look
Can resonate for days.
How a glance can play
And promise,
Again and again
As though holding on to just the memory of it
Could save.

Maybe it’s the way you speak and think
Of important things,
And how when I think and speak,
I know I’m
Speaking and thinking
Of important
You.

I wish we could speak of death
And the world wouldn’t turn away.
Do they not know
I’m afraid too?

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4 thoughts on “Our secret

    • Jennifer Lioy says:

      It’s from Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Esteban told me about it a few weeks ago and I picked it up last night. I was up very late reading it because I couldn’t find a place to stop, which is only a bad thing as I’m sitting behind the desk at work this morning with sleepy eyes. I’m two hundred pages in and can’t put it down. Really, really great.

      • Julia Moen says:

        Very cool. I thought I recognized it…don’t know what I was thinking about. Also, on the book-reading note, I’ve decided that I want to read Infinite Jest…dum dum dum…..

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