Reflection

Little things to celebrate

Sometimes I get caught in a funk. One that keeps me from smiling and really meaning it, from laughing and laughing sincerely, from recognizing joy. I get caught in my head and manage to feel very alone amidst  the company of many stellar human beings. And then I dwell on those things, the ones that point to inadequacies, the ones that burden with guilt, the ones that make me miss her, the ones that make me question everything. And while I want to be philosophical and removed and seeking and thought-filled and reflective and question everything, sometimes I just want to celebrate. I want to recognize how wonderfully joyful I feel riding my sweet new bicycle friend to meet my mom at the market. I want to reflect on the little nuggets of wisdomsweetness that approach me in the form of a small tag on my favorite tea. I want to appreciate perfect italian dinners with the family on the back porch at mom and dad’s and beautiful Texas evenings. I want to sing songs from the Broadway Cast of West Side Story soundtrack and look forward to thursday night and the magical quality of musicals. And sometimes, at the end of the night I want to lay in my little twinkling sanctuary at two a.m. and wish you were next to me and think about all the ways I miss you and the things that could be and how nice it could be and how nice it is, right now, actually. So right now, I think I’ll celebrate this moment.

 

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