Reflection

Overwhelmingly So.

I climbed into my writing cave today. I shut out everything and buckled down to write a large piece for my nonfiction class that’s due in a couple of weeks. As much as I would like to share it with you all here, I will not be doing so for an array of complicated reasons. The important part is that I successfully drafted it today. I’ve tucked it away and plan to take out after a few days after some time away from it for revisions and editing. It’s an emotional piece of writing, nonfiction brings that about, I suppose. I have to aim to land within a page/word count range since it’s for the class. I cut a yellow post-it note and covered the rectangle that shows that page and word count in Microsoft Word though. What I do is write attempting to avoid knowing the length at any point of my drafting process. When I write a first draft, I write until I feel as though I’ve written everything to tell my story. If I don’t, an unintentional editor in my brain is constantly calculating and worrying about it, so I completely get rid of it. When I get to the point where I’m done, then I reveal my final word count and page number, crossing my fingers that I’m over or at least very close to the minimum. Fifteen hours and many pages later, I have a draft well within the range I’m shooting for. To be far too honest, I cried when I finished. I cried as I wrote it at times because I wrote about some difficult things, but I cried when I finished for other reasons. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually been proud of myself. I’ve done things that  others have been proud of me for, but I definitely haven’t ever felt the pride I did finishing that piece of writing today . I cried and cried, not admiring my beautiful writing or that it was so fantastic, but just that I had written it. It’s only a first draft and is probably pretty crappy writing, but it’s something and it’s real and I did it.

I promise I won’t become one of those lame youtube-star wannabes now that I have a ukulele. But, I have made you all a little gift. Thanks again for caring and for choosing to be a part of my life. I feel very lucky to have you, overwhelmingly so. You (all) are my sunshine.

So, I was GOING to put a video here, but I can’t seem to get it to work. I don’t know why. I’ve tried many things and many different ways to upload it and it just isn’t working. I’m going to try again later. Womp womp. Sorry, friends.

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