I just want you to know that you do not have control over me. I am a strong, independent young woman who makes her own decisions and doesn’t let some silly blog obligation have any say on the happenings in her life. I wish you’d be a little bit more considerate of me and the fact that I don’t always have something meaningful to write. I wish you wouldn’t take it personally and make me feel guilty for neglecting you by posting some lame music instead of writing and sharing my life with you. It doesn’t mean we’re fighting or that I’m mad at you. I’m sorry, but you’re not my only friend, blog. My non-fiction writing homework and ukulele deserve some of my time and attention as well. I realize that you’re just jealous and wish I spent all of my time here with you, placing endless little black letters in Times New Roman in a fresh post. I have long-term commitment issues that I don’t want to talk about right now. Just know that you’re becoming a tad too overbearing. It kind of makes you look desperate, blog. You don’t want to be that kind of blog, the one that never has any friends. No one wants a clingy friend blog. Remember Julia and her blog? I feel so bad for them both. I can’t believe she cheated on her blog with her Calculus homework. What a skank! You don’t want us to end up that way, do you? I want to be honest with you. If I wake up in the morning one more time in a panic, unsure if I posted the night before, I’m going to leave you, blog. And you know what you’ll have then? Nothing but readers who only liked you because they liked me.
I speak the truth.
Things to consider, blog. Things to consider, indeed.
I’m so tired!