Reflection

Day Three

This is the first post in days that I’m typing while not hiding the light of my computer from losers sleeping (or trying to sleep) around me. I’m unfortunately not in the comfort of my little sanctuary-like room yet, but I’ve escaped to a Starbucks in Austin (which I’m trying to imagine is our friendly, neighborhood Jupiter House) to grab some tea. Good effort. I’m so unpleasant, a little more than unpleasant in actuality, when I’ve been around people for too long without a moment. I’m trying to give my mother and sister a break from having to deal with my unfortunate attitude, which I’m sure they appreciate.

My itunes shuffled to this song moments ago, and it smacked me in the face. A variation, I realize, is what fits, so that’s what I’m going to give you. Good luck making sense of this nonsense. Also, I read what I wrote last night and am opting to leave it up, for now at least. I don’t make any guarantees.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That’s exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it’s the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I’m sorry for the person I’ve become.
I’m sorry that it’s taking so long for me to change.
I’m ready to be sure I never become this way again
’cause who I’ve been hates who I am.
Who I’ve been hates who I am.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Can’t keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

I hear the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I’m positive that unless I get myself together,
I will watch myself fall apart.

And I can’t let that happen
’cause then you’ll see my heart
In the saddest state it’s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

So sorry for the person I’ve become.
So sorry that it’s taking me so long to change.
I’m ready to be sure I never become this way again
’cause who I’ve been hates who I am.
Who I’ve been hates who I am.

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