Reflection

And You tell me to live.

I’m sorry for the lack of posts this week. Some weeks I have so much to share with you all, but I’m still trying to sort things out in my head enough to make some sense of it all before I try write about it. I’ve been making some important decisions and that I’d love to share if you’d like to ask me about it. It’s kind of one of those things that I’d love to talk about and talk through but that I’m not ready to put in writing. Something about posting makes things so permanent even though it doesn’t actually change my decisions. I’m being goofy, but I’ll write when the time comes. Right now, in this moment, I’m exactly where I want to be. I tend to find this place within myself where I’m so content with who I am, what I’m doing, and where I’m going. I feel sufficient. In the past it’s been something I can hold on to for some period of time, often very short, but this time, I’m holding on with every ounce of my being. I’m so confident that the young woman I am right now, the way I feel right now, the joy I radiate right now, the immense faith I wish to share with the world right now, and the real love I have for life, for living, for Christ, in thanksgiving, right now, at this moment, is the most ME I’ve ever felt in my entire life, the most alive I’ve ever felt. And, if I were to choose a single song that accurately contains the sentiment I wish to express in this post, it’d go a little something like this.

This video just happens to be a little snippet of one of the best nights of my life. The power of music, man. No replacement. There is no replacement.

I realize today, at twelve in the afternoon and not one in the morning when I was posting this, that the video above just seems, to anyone but me, like a lot of noise, screaming, and a shaky recording of some dude jumping around making incomprehensible noise (it’s not my own video, by the way, but I was at that show). If you can look past all of that you might find this awe-inspiring beauty that I feel every time I hear this song. Just hearing the resounding ‘O’s’ of the crowd, the beautiful claps, the lifting of voices and of hearts, and the fantastic way he jumps and spins around and gives every bit of himself in his beautiful form of worship makes me overwhelmingly joy-filled. That’s why I posted this particular version. Just thought I’d let’cha know.

So long before
You’ve stood so long
At my door
Abundantly you have asked
Have you received?
Is this everything that you’ve hoped for?
Is this everything you’ve dreamed?

Well I’m not sure
if I don’t really mean it

Life and history
Repeat and I
Will see visions vividly
Of how everything will end the same
Is this everything that you’ve hoped for?
Is this everything you’ve dreamed?
Well I want it to be
if the real point is seen

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything’s for you
My heart is open
And willing
So take it

(Get up, get up, get up)

So much feeling
oh my soul is singing
And everybody feels the same
Is this everything that you’ve hoped for?
Is this everything you’ve dreamed?
I think it is
if the real point is seen

So in this hour
Everything I do
Will be all for this moment
Everything’s for you
My heart is open
And willing
So take it

Stay in place
When there are so
Many things to say
I wanna help
and not just hesitate
But I just don’t
But I just don’t
So please take my life
And use it
I’m ready

When I’m lost and it seems the end,
like there’s only certain death.
You tell me to live.

When dark clouds cover the sky,
like there’s no hope; you are the light.
You tell me to live.

When I’m all by myself,
and I’m scared about my health.
And You tell me to live.

And when you heal my broken wings,
yes you heal my everything.
Jesus, You tell me to live.

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4 thoughts on “And You tell me to live.

  1. stphn plc says:

    the pinnacle of one of the greatest nights of my life. thank you so much for reminding me

    sorry i didnt reply to your text, but indeed, it brings me great joy that he listens to such a fantastic band (especially blue album)

    • Jennifer Lioy says:

      Every time I’ve watched this video, the part where the chorus of ”Oh’s” from the crowd begins, earlier than it begins in the actual song, gives me major goose bumps. And the ‘I’m ready’ part too. And the end, of course. I’ve had the privilege of seeing him a few times now, and every single time he’s ended with that song and the ‘You tell me to live’ ending is slightly different every time. That was the first time I’d ever heard the ‘Wild horses’ ending. Very, very rad. I just found a couple of videos that I took that night that I might post sometime later. I have the ending of this one and part of ”Cross My Heart” which is the first song of his I had ever heard so it brings me back. I can honestly say I’ve never listened to Weezer. I just might have to one of these days.

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