Reflection

Good days, good days, here to stay.

I’m having a difficult time forming sentences with words that make up complete thoughts this evening, so I apologize if this is a bit messy. It appears as though the past two weeks have been very life-impacting for me, for various reasons. Nothing huge or even remotely abnormal or interesting happened. No extremely tragic events took place. Nothing like that. I wish I had recorded our conversation last night, Bryan, because everything I told you is what I’m trying to articulate here and can’t seem to do successfully. You may need to remind me when you read this, young man. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve never felt so content and blessed with being alive and having the life I do. It’s easy for me to get caught up in my life and the bad things that happen and the hard times that make being hopeful very difficult. It has been easy for me to complain, to feel very alone, to hate, to give up, to make excuses, and to not care about anything and anyone when times get hard. I’ve realized that bad things have to happen, that bad things are out of our control most of the time and if it was as easy as willing them away, we’d never have bad things happen. I’ve realized that I can wake up everyday and tell myself I will have a good day and if I firmly believe it, no one can take away that hope of a good day. I’ve realized that I have amazingly wonderful, selfless, giving, humble, beautiful, and fantastic people in my life. I’ve learned so much about the young woman I’ve become, the priorities I want to have, and where I want to be. I’ve realized what being alive should feel like and that feeling wasn’t catalyzed by any one person, any one instance, any one day, but a decision and a change of heart on my part. Simply being alive should be good enough, blessing enough to make every bad thing that could happen during the course of my day not matter. Simply knowing that I have you, and you, and You, and you all in my life to care about me, to listen to me, and to love me is enough to make the hateful words that guy said to me during third block or the massive fight I had with my parents earlier that day, whatever usually gets me down, not matter so much.
I’m alive and living,
and loving living,
and loving loving,
and living love,
and loving being alive
and that, my awe-inspiring friends
is more than enough.

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2 thoughts on “Good days, good days, here to stay.

  1. I love the last bit, my dear. Sorry I didn’t comment earlier 😉 I read it right before leaving…. but I did read and appreciate it. But I am proud of you and love you quite a lot. And again, I loved all of it, but especially the love/live last part 🙂 Have a sam and janet evening.

  2. Publius says:

    I thoroughly agree with the part about waking up and deciding the day will be good. It is a lesson that I have learned multiple times in my life and somehow always seem to forget amid the insanity that is my life…. I’m incredibly happy for you.

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